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Officer
| A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when hewas
amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering thebeat. He stopped the
car and asked, "Why, Mike, this wouldn't be yournew beatout here in the sticks, would
it?""That it is," Mike replied grimly, "ever since I arrested the
judge onhis way to the masquerade ball." "You mean you pinched his honor?"
asked Pat."How was I to know that his convict suit was only a costume?"
demandedMike."Well," mused Pat, "'tis life and there's a lesson in this
somewhere." "That there is," replied Mike. ... "'Tis wise never to
book a judge byhis cover." |
A Dinner Party
| A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for all the major
statusfigures in Rome, Italy. The wife was very excited about this and wantedeverything to
be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any snails for this
dinner party, so she asked her husband torun down to the beach with the bucket she was
handing him to gather somesnails.Very grudgingly he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out
the door, downthe steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting the snails, henoticed
a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a littlefurther down the beach. He
kept thinking to himself "Wouldn't it be greatif she would even just come down and
talk to me." He went back togathering the snails. All of a sudden he looked up, and
the beautiful womanwas standing right over him.They got to talking, and she invited him
back to her place. They were ather apartment a ways down the beach, and they started
messing around. Itgot so hot and heavy, that he was exhausted afterwards and passed
outthere. At seven o'clock the next morning he woke up and exclaimed, "Ohno!!! My
wife's dinner party!!!" He gathered all his clothes, put them onreal fast, grabbed
his bucket, and ran out the door. He ran down the beachall the way to his apartment.He ran
up the stairs of his apartment. He was in such a hurry that when hegot to the top of the
stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails. There weresnails all down the stairs. The door
opened just then, with a very angrywife standing in the doorway wondering where he's been
all this time. Helooked at the snails all down the steps, then he looked at her, then
backat the snails and said:"Come on guys, we're almost there!" |
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